such beauty is wasted on the young
if only they knew what it was for
if only we had their resilience
if only they realized what they have

they'd go leaping off tall buildings
thinking they'd never hit the ground
if only they knew what i knew now
not to waste it as i must once have been
resilient to love

oh i married you in a blur (A / ES)
but i didn't know what i was getting into
and time passes, age wearies
wine blurs, some things never burn out
still i'm deep into you, so deep into you
i need to tell you

like the rain falling for the dew
moon to night are we to you and you to me

isn't it frightening, my dear heart (ES / F#M / D)
how it crumbles and collapses
and you're leaving me while i'm trying
to make my world collide with you

so please don't leave (A / BM7)
(i won't leave)
so please don't leave
(i won't leave)
you can't leave if I won't give up
and i won't stop trying

i can't say i'll be better than i've been
or i'll do more, i've done a lot
but i have three faces looking back at me
so i'll live with your face for all my days

so please don't leave
(i won't leave)
so please don't leave
(i won't leave)
so please don't leave
(i won't leave)
you can't leave if I won't give up
and i won't stop trying

does it feel smaller now i'm gone
how have you filled the space i leave behind
and i can be reconciled to this
i loved you well with everything i had to give
and i'm sorry for the emptiness i left

still you couldn't see what i was
all i was going to be, you had no belief in me
you would've kept me here in your arms
and held me to the line
but i never drew it, I never kept it
i never needed to hold your hand
the way you wanted me too

I was born with my
fathers blue eyes and i
have the shadow of his face on mine
a blessed curse

i've shown myself to be
the kind to show my
truest colours late in life
a curious display

I don't know why I feel this way
but I want you to say
you see the you in me
and you love me for my truth

I'm not the easiest
of children, daughters can be
difficult and worrisome, i have
grieved you i'm sure

as i've grown older i've
emerged from under my skin
i am more of you, and all of you
that i could hope to be

oh i hope you see me
oh i hope you'll one day see me
that as the day to light
is moon to night is you to me
in the age of me I am the youth of you
i'm everything aspiring to be you
i hope you'll see me
i hope you'll see me trying to be true
to you and me, me and you

I don't know why I feel this way
but I want you to say
you see the you in me
and you love me for my truth

did you ever love me?
ever really love me?
for i loved you

you with all your older, wiser, always knowing better
condemning all my youthful, ideal hopes
convincing me that you were right
i subjugated all my life... for i loved you, i really loved you.

i thought that we could grow together, surely somewhere
there would be some moment where you saw me
you really saw me and believed
these things i knew and know are right... for I loved you, i really loved you.

i hoped we would be friends by now, you would've softened sooner
perhaps have learnt some grace for all your years
but i know that things are done forever
we can never be repaired.. although i loved you..

did you ever love me?
ever really love me?
oh, i loved you.

if one day you came to me contritely, not even pride
would hold me back I would embrace you, for I loved you
and i have always acknowledged I was young and thereby foolhardy enough
to have something to learn but also teach you
i could have taught you so much for i loved you
enough to have the patience it took for all those years
to love you and to teach you
i wonder do you remember anything I taught you while I loved you

did you ever love me?
ever really love me?
oh, i loved you.
i loved you.
will you love me again, one day?

all my stories and ancestors
are written on my body
with scars and shadows
in the set of my jaw

see i was made how i am
so i hold nothing, i simply am
well i hold nothing, all of me
is held by the hands
that made the stars
and he made me, his delight

i can speak like the rushing wind

it falls from my tongue
like a night full of rain
it falls where it must and
it lands where it can

you got me in a awful mess
you know me the best
for i see what i'ved asked you for
but i didn't know what i was getting
still i'm into you
like the rain falling for the dew
we are so alike it's almost
frightening, my dear heart
but i would make my world collide with you

are you coming for me here
or should i run after you
where are you now
in dusk while I'm at dawn?
for you seem so far away
i only ever catch you at the corner
of my mind, will i only
ever recognize your shadow

til i see your face
and you will cover me
when i know your name
and you will cover me
i'll walk under your shadow
quite willingly so you
can cover me
for i am wild and untamed

will you cover me?
i know you'll comfort me>
i hope you can cover me
for i am wild and untamed
but you, you are the one
you are the constant storm

here i am now
a little broken and bruised
led to your throne
ever merciful one
cos you come like the dawn at the end of the night
and you come like the rains in spring
flood over me again
and lead me home

to the everlasting arms
in your everlasting love
you alone are all there is know and be made known
an anthem of your praise be heard
even in the darkest days

on the day the rebels go away
the echo of their song upon the air
on the day the rebels go away
i lost you too, self at once

be it, as it is with me
the darkness that surrenders to the light
and gives it back again
as it is with me
the turning of the days into nights
the dawn of morning that starts at dusk
the inner love the outer hate
that won't leave you alone
as it is with me, the neverending cup

be it, as it is with me
always to the edges of the story
the light that surrenders to the night
as it is with me
the weight of my name on my shoulders
living in the halflight in need of the dark
the bitter quarrel the loyal fight
that never leaves you done
as it is with me, the endless song

clenched fist against my chest
desperate words of hope confess
i am empty for the sight you

some say that it's a gift
to see what i see and to know
but i see the truth it is

a gift like this is only for my father's table
a gift like this means nothing
if not for you, my father's hand guides me
where to go, i only know his direction

how is it here in my broken shame
i still know your voice and i lean in
compulsively drawn to the truth i know
i will walk this way where my brother goes
and i take the cup as it is to me
the sorrow of knowing you keep me in this life
for where i want to be you know
in my father's home, is the life i long to know

for to make what i can from these hands
threading my words for another man's praise
oh i need not your praise for the work of my hands
is only for my father's display and all other causes
a plain facsimile, mean nothing to me

i put my life in your hands
make your Glory in me, be seen.
Oh i've learned what pleases you more than most
and my gift is the gift of sight
i recognise your art in life.

i am an old woman
as old as the sea, battering the coast into submission
her shattering shoreline falling into soft, buttery pieces
foamy and chaotic

i am an old woman
as long and wrung out as old cotton
in danger of yellowing and wrinkling in the light
stiff and harsh

i am an old woman
laughter and frowning written in the same lines
my face framed by unruliness i no longer care to tame
wild and ruthless

i am an old woman
my youth vanished from my womb and skin and eyes
mirth replaced with wisdom of children that never arrived
lost in transition

i am an old woman
standing still with the shock of it realising
i have arrived at the moment of farewelling life for what it never was
bed empty, full heart

i am an old woman
who loved with the heat of one thousand suns
loved and loved and loved without pretense and knew your every heart
beating and whole

i am an old woman
who grew so waiting on you

you are kind with your words but
i wish you weren't a liar
wish you weren't pieces of every other woman
wish you weren't tied up by the past and twelve
other lives

i could've loved you into freedom and
given over all you asked
bought your truth from the demons on your shoulder
but you're a liar and you remain
too happy to live in the grave
and your desire for control
robs the love i had for you in moments
of clarity, my love for you dies
and i wish you weren't a liar
so we could speak in truth

i would tell you these things
to unstitch the women of your past
to use your own name
and be brave enough to be fully human
fully known

there was a line that you said
i can't get it outta my head
i think it started with breaking
what was left of my heart

you better know what you are doing
with those words full of honey and light
you better have intentions of completing the truth
and finding me in a good life

oh you should kill me now
if all you ever have is just the same old same old
discontent, you should make her your wife
make her laughing into old age
capture the kisses of her youth while it is fleeing
love her and kill me with your kindness
on street corners and dark spaces

i will plant and live in my garden
building bridges between the life and what is
and is not, in the story live forever
killed by you and for your love i die not
fearless i live on to watch your life unfolding
and roses bloom in the wonder and the what if
with my friend beside me in my troubles and grief

to you my love
my heart goes swimming on the deep oceans
life in the compassionate way
discontent in your solitude
observing silences and tragedies
small delicacies and sweet words
they fall into the ears of young lovers
and my heart swims out to your
on the tide with the ebb and the flow
of the ruse and fall of your love
the grandness of a philosophy
of beauty and trust
but my wise old heart lives
under the clouds and weather of
suspicious truth with clarity
in a goblet overflowing, pouring with wine
i breath and sigh and wait
knowing the blindness and straight
arrow of desire
wondering what river i will live
and die in for the sake of this

it could be true
from a story or a song
that no free man was ever free
til he had the strength of his belief
and knew the sound of his own voice
against the wind and raging storms
to the ear of his lover
in silence his truth still spoken
that is a free man

there is a playlist in my heart
i've been writing since the day we met
for the first time again since we knew
each other at misconception