i'm scraping my fingernails
down the skin of my arm
to avoid touching the heat of your skin
soon i'm about to become a
correspondence lover
a lover despondent far from you
your skin against mine now would tattoo me
undo me enough that i'd be wrapped inside you
and find pieces of you scattered in me
days after the goodbye

there is a breathlessness in waiting
my suspicion is that you've already
found your way into my being by osmosis
with basslines and beats made in secret
all of that the foreplay and the premise
oh the trigger is still the flash of your eyes
touching me in the language of skin
while you're playing steam, licking the air
with sound and smoke, always responding
wanting a response from me, i sing inside and out

i'm running fingernails over shoulders
through your skin with words
a tattoo to your ear, your heart, being
my correspondence by touch and sound and letter
scattered over bodies and ideas and music
for hours and hours on end, in preparing
such sweet, soft, hard, breathless goodbyes
making new doorways of hello, making new words
contemplating such old, extraordinay sins
because you set alight the spark in me.

sometimes i cut myself and watch the river bleed
i think about the blood spilling for me
it seems to make some sense that sometimes
pain can set me free, though i am still a slave to it

i guess they figure i can't learn salvation
the truth is i relate to Jesus more when he is bleeding
more than they could ever know, i find some
comfort in his being good at bleeding too

i have a scar upon the inside of my arm
i mostly hide it with my sleeve but honesty dictates
i ought to tell sometimes i'm proud to look down on it
i see that i still despite the pain of me

so i won't do this to myself forever, I promise
though i'm broken i know whereupon i stand
i have found the truth and it speaks to my demands
when i bleed i still know hope will rise again

give my heart its true north
compass setting
this is such a lonely place
whre i have forgotten the sound of your voice
i do not know the way home
you are the highway
the signpost
the streetlamp
the gate and the path to the door
where i live

______________________________________


i break, i boil, i live a little where you are
even when you're far away

in these spaces i live, I know the streets and the doorways
the windows, i know where you are in the spaces
what i want now from this, is the presence of being
and you, you where you are, occupied time.

______________________________________


my heart is right across the world tonight
echoing and calling you back home
oh i hold nothing against for being out of town
out there in the world on the horizon line
but get here, get here now, be first
you'll be home tonight
if you make it to my arms

i've written pages of lovesongs and letters in the waiting
but i never know which one to send cos
i've written myself down to give away gently
i'm echoing and calling you back home
but everything i know is falling to pieces
i think i used to be fragile but i'm stronger now
all the days are long enough for daylight to be boring now
missing you can feel quite nice for a while
but sadness fades into focus in the darkness
from out on the horizon line
get here, get here now, you'll be home tonight

__________________________________________

so many hours in weaving a thread
of a life that with dignity
pride and delight in a smile
eyes that tell me things i never knew
we have lived out loud without any shame
who's, what's, where's and why's all in a line

until you made me a secret
i screamed from the inside no,
don't put me in the dark
but you stripped me away to naked
i became a quiet hush
instead of the song out loud in life

like bullets to a collapsing spine
all my courage and strength to the wire
dignity pulled away into pieces
when you made me a secret
laughter fell away into silence
everything warm became cold in the night
my bed never felt so lonely
til i became the never-said, the quiet hush

i screamed from the inside no,
don't put me in the dark
but you stripped me away to naked
i became a quiet hush

alone, i greet you
a mottled hue welcome.. come and follow
i will seat you
uncover you, from the feet
to neck, i find you under there

so being naked now
down to the soul
take off your eye
and use hands, polarize senses
honesty, being gentle to the need
leave grace in your reflections

alone, meet me in the hush
eyelock and fingers just whispering things
to each other
lay by me, in the proxim of warmth
in agreement to intimate
being totality, me
being you, just be.
__________________________________

let light be the essence of what we build
with gentle strong arms and
struggling voice... battle weary
let us build from windows of vision
with form and shape
using light as the point of interest
lay down the old nail
using instead hands and bodies
to mould and press this house together
this testimony
honour and worship being purpose
take breath as a sacrifice and breath
into the light structure
your light is strength and true design
of clarity
hand for pressing and shaping
body to move and flow
rise and fall of the blood

building temples.
__________________________________________

the wind and the rain in my hair
tiny wet drops on my glasses
still i somehow hope they hide me from you
it seems nothing does

tonight there was divinity in the air
you didn't walk, didn't run
you stayed beside me in the rain
stood in the wind
when it was over
offered me shelter of your arms

i let you fall over me
slipping myself underneath
i didn't need equal or more
just needed now to be held
who knows what happens now
after the storm and the rush
but for a moment here in sunlight
i remember dancing under your touch

__________________________________________

hush now
close your mouth
don't speak
we are in a place that's not for words
just breathe
feel the spirit float in and over

quiet now
don't argue this
let the presence flow
just inhale
let go
we just need to be

close your eyes and take my hand
squeeze it tighter
as the weight drops on
feel the tremble of 20,000 tonnes or more

holding all breath
close your mouth
just be
here in the flow of the river
feel the crush

close your eyes as the mighty water
falls just over us
feel the tremble of 20,000 tonnes or more
take my hand and squeeze tighter

be here with me
enjoy the presence
stop all time
while His Spirit is in motion
__________________________________________________

a dream in 1998

there's a peace coming for a time
where we will stay and lsiten to the air for a while
competing and combining in breath and gasp
from two sets of crimson lips
tarnished hips and bruises
this dance you know but i am new to join

pray it does not trouble you
to teach me how to breathe and move again

but i will not run and hide from things as these
i do not know rather i will try a little harder
keep slightly closer, follow you and watch myself
carefully imitate and learn to make this rhythm
you already know, and i have to learn
but there is a peace coming for a time
neither will care who knew what when we began

this will be our dance for a time
circling. the twisting together entwined
i will learn the things you speak and never speak
you can take from me to enjoy it once again

from limb and soul
the peace does grow
from deep joy
playful days follow
what is new to me
will be new again to you
i will make it so
a gift for one anothers
rhythm will rise and descend
in sweet and heavy songs
and the ghosts will go
leaving us to dance, dance
speaking to only each other

there will birth and rebirth
from our entanglement
others will watch with large eyes
allow us to surprise them
we will not stop once it's begun
there is too much here of touch and haste
love and consuming taste
so first and last, old and new will fade
for a peace is coming for a time
that will give us all we need
and we will dance in rhythm