don't get it wrong now love
take your time
you don't get to redirect it
no bright lights
no empty stage
no rehearsal
there's just no time

i'm sorry
you walk in the room and i'm sorry
you leave and i'm sorry
you look me in the eye
i'm sorry
you look away, i'm still sorry.

i didn't mean to step into your space
to make things too close
to challenge you to climb fences
to demand from you.

i didn't mean to be in your way
to be uncomfortable or heavy
can we take things back three days
let me say i'm sorry, and believe me.

we are a spiral cocoon of
misunderstanding and disbelief,
we clompete in angst and mood,
i wish i understood you better or at least
understood what you wanted me to do or be
to think or say.
i feel so helpless when you are broken.

i'm sorry. come back in.
return my call. tell me that you will be ok
that i am innocent and believe me.

let me tell you now
that you were beautiful yesterday
and if he did not love you even
for that one moment he was a fool
he may not love you always but
for those few minutes
we all loved you unerringly.

you were still yourself
with quiet eyes and still voice,
but your song was graceful
and you stood well in the light
remember how it pooled at your feet
and how you looked as though
with eyes closed you would be
flying above us all
we were all so delighted for you

so let me tell you now
in case later you are tempted to forget
yourself in view of his shadow
that you were beyond comparison.
i hope that your heart does not break
it would not alter the image of your beauty
but it may scar the memory.

i cannot hold the sky up
much longer
i am tiring of the weight
all that air and cloud
rainbows pressing down on me

i cannot hold up the stars
much longer
my faith is running out
i had no idea they
were so heavy

i would rather be now
down on my knees
face into the ground
smelling the dirt and feeling
the grass imprint on my cheek

waiting here beneath the sky
filling time before the sun goes down
filling up on raindrops
and windy offerings sing

standing here beneath the trees
winter kissing up around my knees
feet losing their grip on
soft soft ground, don't slip away

lying here under the air
don't know why i said i wouldn't go
heart is on a slow break
can't look out on a new day

you be patient with me now
too fragile if you break me, don't
cold rain has made me clean
standing look up, up away

it's raining now, coming down hard
elements of awkward in the air

gotta get some
air beneath my feet
ground moving swell
faster than i could walk
motor humming
songs of solace
moving me further away

the feeling that i want is
something like the airport
at 2.34am when the air is
cold and vast
and i am nearly flown away.

alone in the sky on
hilltop blown on the current
wind of tip toe
into sandy sea
never lonely here
but the comfort of the solace
makes some sense here to me
city bound solitude is
impossible to breed.

i want to be
light as air
floating through colours
of my own spectrum

leaving a trail of dust
as if i was never there
or hardly ever there
in the least of all these things

i want to leave without reflection

i will go home soon
escape the flourescence that
pales my skin and hollows
my eyes with shadows

i will disrobe from clinical attire
nylon and lycra synthetic blends
i will lose my height
taking off stilettos

i will wander naked
down to wash off the
dark falseness of the day
the smell of silence

i will half drown under
the hot steam and thunder
of water on my earlobes
regaining balance and spirit

i will not wait all night
for you to call, or even to arrive
i will be myself and be content with that
even if it means tv, icecream and slippers.

When you hold me in
a love-embrace
and tell me
I am a tiger,
full of heat and spark,
it cannot make it any less
true when you tell me -
I am a bird
flying out of grasp
or a fish
floating out of reach.
When you are far from me,
when I am moving farther

I think I like to be
the tiger best.
Close enough to taste your skin,
full of heat and spark.
But I think also you
prefer my likeness
at the safer distance of a dove.

the rewards of loving you
are less than obvious to the eye.
unless you look through mine, and
recognise the language there.

i would live alone
for moments like last night.
between the doorway where i was leaning & you, 12 people in the room.
we were alone.

as you played i captured the music
through my lens. i looked up at you
and knew, acknowledged back.
i captured our love on film.

the language of our eyes,
interpret now in the image.
in loving you, i have acquired new eyesight
and my lens sings aloud to capture you.

when all the world is quiet
i find my way to you
i steadily avoid it til there's
no place else to go
the road always converges
at the threshold of your throne
though i often argue with you
i am foolish this will i confess
imagine i could simply
escape you on and on

you are too involved
in all i am, my birth
for me to live
outside of grace
you would bestow
on me so willingly
yet still oh i refuse
to do things your way
me, rebellious child
oh make me silent

niceness